...does that make sense? I'm not sure, I'm just writing. I like to write. I like to put these thoughts down so I can reflect on them in that very near future, when I am questioning who I am and the struggle between who I am and who I should be. It's always a constant battle. Then there is the person I want to be. Someone motivated, someone strong, someone invulnerable to the cause and effect; but then that wouldn't make me very human, would it? You have to be vulnerable, in order to appreciate the moments when you're strong. Or even, to be strong, you have to know what it's like to be vulnerable. To be really happy with others and appreciate it, you need to know what it feels like to be utterly alone. You have to know one end to realize how important the other side is. This is why "the grass is always greener on the other side" never sat well with me. The grass is green because you give it love and attention and time. And that's all that phrase ends up meaning. If you're motivated enough, the grass will always be green, no matter the side you're on. The question is, will outside choices, made beyond your control, the people around you, put in just as much time and just as much effort to make it green like you are. Will they make that choice, just like you have to see the side that exists in your world and make it green just as it would be if you made the choice to walk away and cross that line. |
To walk away. The hard choices are what define us. The times that, even though they break your heart, they rip you apart every day, those are the things that make us who we are, that make us strong. And its so damn hard to be that person. To be the one to stand up and walk away. To leave everything behind and start something new, even though you aren't sure that something new is even close to what you had. But you know, deep down, that you are making this choice for who you are and what you stand for. Even when it hurts so much, you sometimes can't breathe, or you forget how to breathe. |