And then years later, something that would have made the most incredible difference comes out; and that scenario you had built into your head, the arguments, the fights, the sexless runaround of laziness and sadness- its not what you thought at all. He was in a totally different place then I had naturally assumed; but does it make any difference now? No. Unfortunately not. It would have been an entirely different situation if he had said something then, but he didn't. He made his choice. And I made mine.
Ugh, why do these things have to be so complicated?