He was trying to be something he wasn't. He even had me convinced- he said all the right things, but he wanted change over night, something I could not give him. He wanted commitment without any effort, he wanted things to just be, to exist the way he wanted them too...but life doesn't work that way. Its hard work, it takes time and dedication. It takes stumbling steps and controversial words, and then the right ones that put us straight again. It take heaven and hell, and the happiness you find in between together. Its a pain in the ass. If it wasn't, would it really be worth it? Nothing worth it is ever easy. So I guess, at the end of all this, I wasn't worth it. To him anyway. He just flipped that switch so fast- there was no time, no way to change even if I wanted to. He's a child. The man who I had loved, who I thought loved me- who went from being my best friend to being the cruelest individual, a man who was warm and loving, to instantly cold and untrusting- angry and bitter - all because he could never understand why I walked away, never would take the moment to understand my side, never giving me the time of day to reflect on how I may have felt. Never once taking blame on himself, it was all me, I'm the one who ruined it, I'm the one who left. And here we are again. Full fucking circle. Oh, but this time is very different. I know I've done everything now. I know I've tried, over and over again to be apart of his life. I've gone into the fire apologizing for something I believed in, and I've come out on the other side alone. And this time, I'm not going back. This time, it really is the end.
And so we are finally at the end...goodbye.