I'm feeling a mixture of emotions at this moment. There are moments in every person's life on this planet, milestones that show you writing a new chapter in your life, starting something important. Each milestone is usually a momentous occasion- it always starts with the small things for an individual and then it continuously grows and eventually its a celebration of two people together, each with their own milestones being met because of the other person in their lives. This is a very elaborate way of mentioning both engagement and marriage, two very important milestones in a person's life. And one would hope you would only ever want to do it once. So it leads me to my situation at hand. Imagine you've known someone the entirety of your life, you've grown up with them, and thought you were extremely close, even as you got older and didn't often speak, the bond never seemed severed. You just knew that if they called, you would always answer, and if they needed you, there would be no hesitation is immediately getting into your car and driving to where they needed you to be. They're your family, and then you find out they're proposing to their long time girlfriend that you have hung out with a thousand times over the time they've been together, but you're not entirely sure you know her very well because she is extremely quiet and doesn't talk much. And then you find out that after all of a couple weeks of quote-unquote engagement, they're getting married immediately and because of COVID-19 they have to limit majority of their family and keep numbers small for a civil ceremony. And at this point, the thoughts running through your head are based on, "Didn't he just propose, like, three weeks ago?" to "Talk about an extremely quick engagement." to "They already live together, I'm not sure I understand what the rush is?" And then it turns to, "Why would you want to have a wedding if you couldn't have all your family there with you?" Turning again to, "Wow, that sucks, guess it never mattered if you're family was present any way." Which brings me back to the "extremely close" part I was talking about earlier. It's really shitty to find out its one fucking sided. Guess it's because I would stay engaged for an entire year to make sure that he was there at my wedding. But hey, guess its just me, and I once again give way too many shits about the things that happen in this life. Since we only get one, and you hope you only marry once, this milestone must be only important to me, and no one else. Looks like they're planning some big future party next year. We'll see if I feel like "showing up" to celebrate the year old couple. It's like a housewarming after the person has lived in the same house for 10 years. A bit late, isn't it? Ehhh, I'm just bitter as fuck right now. It's so annoying when people make stupid decisions and don't own up to them. COVID my ass. And here is where I was thinking in my head to rationalize this, "if they had been engaged for a year or even 6 months and this was some loose plan that they wanted to get married in the summer of 2020, I would be totally understanding. 1000% COVID becomes a valid excuse, you're not blowing off most of your family, you're excepting the circumstances that presented themselves and handling the situation as best you can. But you've been engaged for such a short time. You can't wait a couple fucking months? Ahhhh, its so fucking annoying. I'm angry, feeling resentful, I'm a little bit heart broken, and extremely disappointed that I thought our relationship was a little bit higher than everyone elses'. That we were a little bit closer than everyone else. That it meant something. But that's on me I guess. From his perspective, he probably doesn't think we're that close at all. Which feels like someone has died and I'm facing the news head on.
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Wisdom
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