When's the last time you said I'm sorry?
When's the last time you said I love you?
Do you mean it when you say I'm sorry?
Or was the last time the last time?
-CHRISTON GRAY / THE LAST TIME
I just can't help myself. I know he'll never trust me again and it hurts when I think about it, but I need to see him. It's actually driving me insane. I've just missed him. I've missed him so much and I've been missing him since the day I left. Damn myself for being this weak, for letting this happen, for letting my guard down even though I know how all this ends. It will end. And I'll have to walk away...again. I'm not sure I can do it again. I don't think I can mentally and emotionally handle it. All at once, I walked away from my best friend and my entire future and I will stand by my choices, I have to, I would be a coward if I didn't. I won't pretend like I don't know how much I hurt him, and I won't pretend I was feeling anything but resentment when I did finally say goodbye. It never meant that I stopped loving him, it never meant that I wanted to say goodbye. I wanted an apology, I wanted something, some kind of emotion that showed he gave a shit, that he cared more for me than his stupid pride and his grand idea that getting angry and becoming a douche bag made things better for him. It was easier for him to just shut down and become bitter and cruel instead of understanding, instead of telling me that he knew that I needed space, that I needed time, and all I wanted was for him to tell me that taking my time was okay, and that I did what I needed to do for me, and I wanted him to look me in the eyes and tell me that it didn't matter, that he would understand for as long as he needed me too, that he would wait, because he was that confident in his feelings for me. Jesus. I've needed to get that out for a while. When's the last time you said I'm sorry? When's the last time you said I love you? Do you mean it when you say I'm sorry? Or was the last time the last time? -CHRISTON GRAY / THE LAST TIME
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