"And sometimes my conscious awareness of your existence makes me happy."
And then how do you come back from the end and make amends? How do you fix something so broken, so destroyed, so damaged - I'm drowning because I can't save him and I can't save myself. I have to let this go. I have to do this. As the tears fall, as my chest constricts, as my mind realizes that I gave my heart - all of it, every piece that was ever broken or damaged, every part that was hidden in the depths of my loneliness and my nothingness that was my life, I gave it all - and I never really got it back. And I don't want it back. I gave it to him and I had hoped that he would cradle it, understand it, and protect it, but then he stopped caring, he left it alone, and when it reached out for him, he ignored it. I never wanted it back, but I think I need it back. I need it back because I can't feel anything any more. I don't want to be numb any more. I can't be the empty shell any more that I've been forcing myself to endure ever since the day I left everything behind.
Remember all the things we wanted, now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye, even with our fists held high
It never would have worked out right, we were never meant for do or die
I didn't want us to burn out, I didn't come here to hurt you now, I can't stop
I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road, but someone's gotta go
And I want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on, so I'm already gone
Looking at you makes it harder, but I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you wanna cry, it started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive, you know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go
So I'm already gone...
-ALREADY GONE, SLEEPING AT LAST